A post by Teal Van Dyck
As a
non-Episcopalian and a young queer trans activist, I was a little bit
apprehensive about attending the 77th Episcopal General Convention.
I agreed to travel to Indianapolis from my home in Western Massachusetts to
help my friend and employer navigate accessibility at the Convention as her
aide. She is an out lesbian Episcopalian, and a proud member of IntegrityUSA
and the Episcopal Women's Caucus, and I knew how important it was to her to be
able to attend. If summoning the resolve to jump into two weeks at my first
General Convention would make her participation possible, I knew that my call
to service was clear. Nonetheless, I was concerned. Would there be room for
someone like me at the General Convention?
I'm a queer,
genderqueer trans man and at home, I use art and performance to speak about
intersectional justice as loudly as I can manage. I was also raised in a deeply
Christian family, and continue to seek Jesus' message of teaching, preaching,
and healing while working to hold my certainty that God loves me just as Ze
loves the whole benevolent universal creation. It is rare that I am able to
live fully in both my transformative faith and my social justice politics. As I
boarded the flight to Indiana and checked into the hotel, I worried that I
would need to once again perform a less-than-whole version of myself to make it
though the Convention.
I shouldn't have
been concerned. My employer volun-told me to help TransEpiscopal with their
work at the Convention, and the generosity, warmth, humor, and heart of the
group of people here has been astounding. I feel grateful for their willingness
to include me in their initiatives to pass resolutions D002, D019, and D022,
and their larger mission of promoting visibility, inclusion, and understanding
of trans people and our lives in the church. Our numbers are small compared to
the massive scale of the event, but our spirit is disproportionately strong,
propelled by the compelling message that we bring about the future of The
Episcopal Church.
In the last several
days I have had the chance to speak with people as they stop by the booth,
encourage them to check out our materials, and engage in friendly dialogue
while clarifying the urgency of TransEpiscopal's mission. As folks stop by who
have little experience with transgender politics or experiences, I am moved by
the number of people who express great willingness to make connections and
learn, making it safe and feasible for me to have these vulnerable
interactions. As our conversations develop, many people share stories with me
about trans people they notice in their lives. I noticed one man momentarily
lingering near the table, and we made small talk about General Convention. He
eventually spoke of a trans woman he works with who transitioned on the job,
impressing upon me that he respects and values her because she's a good
coworker. I brought up the widespread employment discrimination faced by many
trans people, and we talked about supporting a trans coworker as an important
way to support gender justice.
Another woman
stopped by hoping to talk about ways to support her friend, a mother struggling
to accept her trans son who has come out in the last year. She spoke earnestly
about not understanding much about transgender identities, but feeling strongly
that she must find tangible resources and language to pass along to her beloved
friend. I spoke to her from my own experience of patiently working with my mother
as she struggled to accept my transition, and Donna Cartwright, one of the
co-founders of TransEpiscopal, also shared from her experience with her mother.
We directed her to resources for parents of trans children, and also spoke
about the power of love to transform some families' acceptance over time, and
God's unwavering love for each person in the family as they work to grieve,
process, and witness each others' true selves. Each interaction like these
demonstrates the depth of the power of courageous love to conquer oppressive
fear.
The power of
telling the truth of my trans lived experience to another person is a prophetic
ministry of hope and the possibility for interpersonal triumph over the
superhuman monolith of prejudicial discrimination. I'm reminded of the young
David on the verge of battling the biggest, baddest guy that the Philistines
could find, as described in 1 Samuel 17.
Goliath, like the
giants of exclusion, discrimination, and prejudice that we stand down every
day, wasn't operating on a human scale. He's between eight and twelve feet tall
depending on who's telling the story, his armor is between 60 and 120 tons, and
his weaponry is ultra high-tech for the ancient world. The Israelites, with all
their war weapons and violent fervor, are afraid to challenge him. Even King
Saul, himself a tall and powerful warrior with ancient high-tech armor, isn't
interested in taking his chances with Goliath. To make things worse, Goliath is
vocal about his intention to destroy the Israelites, raining down all sorts of
shady comments and threats and challenging them to fight every morning and
evening when they're trying to worship and pray.
At this time, David
is the little brother of three older soldier sons, so he's at home in the mountains
tending the sheep when his dad asks him to bring some provisions to King Saul's
men. When David hears about Goliath and all his threats, he goes to Saul to
volunteer to face the giant – to speak truth to power. Perhaps in an effort to
save face, “Saul said to David, Thou art not able to go against this Philistine
to fight with him: for thou art but a youth, and he a man of war from his
youth” (1 Samuel 17:33). David elaborates that as a shepherd, he's used to
dealing with large, loud, aggressive threats to his flock – he killed a lion
and a bear by himself, evidently using just his courage, faith, and desire to
protect his sheep. Saul piles all his armor onto David's small frame, but David
refuses it, saying he hasn't tested Saul's equipment and trusts his usual
weapon, the totally low-tech slingshot.
When David shows up
to face Goliath, the monolith starts up again with the discriminatory
diatribes. Goliath is offended that the Israelites have sent a young person to
take him on – Goliath, like Saul, estimates that young people aren't any good
at speaking truth to power. David
lays it on him, saying “Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and
with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord...and all this
assembly shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear: for the
battle is the Lord's, and he will
give you into our hands” (1 Samuel 17:45-47). To seal the deal, David whips a
smooth river stone from his slingshot into Goliath's forehead, the big guy
topples over, completely defeated.
David makes an
important distinction about what brought him to victory. As the spiritual
inspired by 2 Corinthians 20:15 says, “The battle is not yours – it's the
Lord's.” David's stature, weaponry, and ammunition are small, but he knows he's
contributing to the tidal force of God's justice reflected in courageous
incarnational presence by human beings. When it comes to our work toward full
transgender inclusion in The Episcopal Church and in the world, we commit small
acts of courage that contribute to the larger change of transgender people
assuming their rightful place as spiritual leaders and valued members of
parishes and dioceses.
Every moment in
which I trust God enough to have an honest conversation with a stranger about
being a transgender person, I lean on the sustaining faith that brought me to
that moment with a fellow human being, a seeker like myself. Every time I bear
witness to the incredible and mischievous grace of the Universe that made me
fluid and resilient, I am like David, quietly kneeling by the river to find the
smoothest stones, worn down to the authentic truth by time in the flow of the
life-giving waters. Every connection that I share with another person about the
lessons of life in my body is another stone lodged in the forehead of
institutional discrimination until that bellowing giant is inevitably felled.
Some deliver dire
predictions that voices and bodies like ours will bring chaos and collapse to
the church, just as fearful and prejudiced people around the world assert that
we are irreparably unraveling the social fabric itself. As a trans person, I
have the lived experience of immersing myself in the chaotic unknown – throwing
myself into the abyss of change through transition with complete doubt, but
also with complete trust that God's omniscience regarding my truest self will
uplift me from my dark nights of the soul into the morning light of my glorious
future. For those who have never taken such an embodied leap of faith, for
those who don't believe it's sacred or even possible to prove the malleability
of corporeal gender and perpetuity of spiritual wholeness, fear is an
understandable response. As trans people, we hold a beautiful prophecy for the
world. Over the edge of the unknown, deep in abyssal fear, the wings of divine
Love are just waiting to scoop up all up, deliver us from the giants of
oppression and discrimination, and transform our hearts and our communities. As
we humbly aim the smooth stones of living our truth in each moment, we are
already victorious in our battle to reveal God's exuberant grace to the 77th
General Convention and to all who encounter us in our daily lives.
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