Carolyn Louise Woodall got ordained last Saturday to the
Sacred Order of Deacons in the Episcopal Diocese of San Joaquin -- smack dab in
the middle of California's conservative Central Valley. There was no fanfare,
there were no media and there were no protesters. I was there with a film crew
to document the event for Integrity’s VOICES OF WITNESS project entitled
"Out Of The Box" -- celebrating the lives and witness of transgender
Episcopalians.
As the service
began we had our cameras ready when the Bishop asked "... if any of you
know any impediment or crime because of which we should not proceed, come
forward now, and make it known." We were ready … but no one came forward.
It was the people's will that Carolyn be ordained and it was their will to
uphold her in her ministry – and they said so, loud and clear. On the surface
this was your typical ordinary ordination … but truth be told it was anything
but.
As I sat in the tiny church watching this
ordinary/extraordinary ordination unfold, I remembered my last trip to the
Diocese of San Joaquin. It was five years ago – just after the then-sitting
Bishop Schofield tried to take the diocese out of the Episcopal Church and
become the Anglican Diocese of San Joaquin: a schismatic response to the
ordination of Bishop Gene Robinson and the blessing of same sex unions.
Bishop
Schofield – arguably one of the most reactionary bishops in the Episcopal
Church – would not ordain women to the priesthood and would not give communion
to gay persons. People joked that he was more catholic than the Catholics – and
when he became a bishop he added the name John to his birth-name David becoming
Bishop John-David.
Four of us, LGBT leaders from the Diocese of Los Angeles,
traveled the long Central Valley highway lined with citrus trees, table grapes,
raisins, almond groves and other visually interesting crops, to meet with the
Remain Episcopal team. They were the folks who stayed. And that day this
faithful remnant of Episcopalians described to us the goals they had set for
San Joaquin: to rebuild the diocese, to ordain women, to welcome and include
all the strangers at the gate. And as I sat there in the pew in St. Anne’s,
Stockton at the ordination of Carolyn Louise Woodall, I was aware that they
have come a long way in those five years. A very long way.
Carolyn Louise Woodall was born Clifford Lawson Woodall. She
was born out of the box. "I had known I was different since I was four or
five years old, I just didn’t figure out the extent of my differences until
much later in life. It isn’t as if there weren’t clues, it was just that I had
gotten very good at denial. I never even heard the word “transsexual” until
college, and then I had a passing thought that it might apply to me, but
quickly buried that thought. As time went on, however, the thought that I might
be transsexual kept resurfacing and I continued to bury it as best I
could."
But she couldn't bury it forever. "I could learn to
live with it, start living as a woman, and move on with life or, I could kill
myself. I decided on suicide that night. I sat there convinced of a couple of
things. One was that I was an abomination before God. God made me male at birth
and I would be unfaithful to God by changing that. Additionally, this was
wrong. So was suicide, but that night I prayed that God would consider suicide
the lesser sin and forgive me for what I was about to do. I had a gun in the
dresser right behind me and it would be quick and easy.
Fate intervened and Carolyn was relieved." I quickly
realized that I had been looking for a reason not to go through with it and was
very glad I had found one."
Carolyn Woodall always loved the church. She sang in choirs
from a young age and felt a call to ministry as early as she can remember. She
entered the discernment process as a transgendered woman and the Church
received her call last Saturday.
She was ordained by one of the great champions of inclusion
and giants of justice in the Episcopal Church: Bishop Chet Talton. Bishop
Talton – who previously served as Bishop Suffragan in my diocese of Los Angeles
so I can brag on him a bit -- has thrown down a gauntlet of welcome in the
Diocese of San Joaquin: “Whoever you are and wherever you find yourself, you
are welcome here." And they are.
Carolyn's ordination service was hosted by the Reverend Lyn
Morlan, Rector of St. Anne's Church in Stockton. Five years ago she wouldn't
have been licensed to serve in the Diocese of San Joaquin, let alone called to
be the rector of a parish. And tears came to my eyes as I watched a gay couple
come forward to the communion rail as I remembered the horror story of a
another gay couple being turned away at the altar a few short years ago.
So here’s my message to those who are discouraged and think
the church is not moving fast enough: take heart, it is happening. Giants of
justice like Bishop Chet Talton are making it happen. Integrity USA is making
it happen. Each and every one of you is making it happen. We set audacious
goals and we achieve incremental victories every day. Saturday’s ordination of
Carolyn Louise Woodall was surely an audacious victory in the Diocese of San
Joaquin. And if it can happen there, it can happen anywhere.
In Texas and Tallahassee; South Florida and South Carolina –
and in all the other places where the full inclusion of all the baptized in all
the sacraments is still a goal and not a reality. It's just a matter of time.
We are at the tipping point. And we are in it to win it.
Many thanks to those brave leaders who didn't give up. To
the Remain Episcopal folks who rebuilt a diocese. To Bishop Chet Talton for
being the right shepherd in the right place at the right time. And especially
to Deacon Carolyn Louise Woodall for modeling for us God's mission: to be your
true and authentic self so you can have a true and authentic relationship with
Him in order to call others into the circle of God’s inclusive love.
Louise Brooks serves on Integrity's Board of Directors and
is their Director of Communications.
She is currently the Executive Producer of VOICES OF WITNESS: Out Of The
Box....a video that celebrates the lives and witness of transgender
Episcopalians. The DVD, complete with a study guide, will be released in May, 2012
as a gift to the church from Integrity.
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